Mother's Day

This will be the first mother's day without my mother. It is particularly hard as I miss her presence very much. I miss the way she laughed. It was loud. Come to think of, she was just loud, more so as her hearing started to deteriorate. I miss her stories and gossips of friends and relatives. I miss stopping by her house to eat filipino dishes. I miss the way she lived, according to her terms.

I miss her phone calls. She would call me up at home and ask "are you home?" That used to really bug me. I would think up of ways that I could possibly answer that question...although I never dared. She would also call me to run errands for her. I always thought it was such a bother.

But here I am, facing mother's day. If I only knew, what I know now...If I had more days with her...if only she would call and ask if I was at home...if only she would ask me to run errands for her...as bothersome as she may have been, as annoying and bossy as she could be...if only she was here, I could tell her how much I love her and appreciate all the things she did for me...if only...